I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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