I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my shit smells like andre
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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