he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
