so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
