i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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