Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize