508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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