sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
