does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize