You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All I want is dick and wine.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
