What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
