You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
