I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We're too hungover to prance.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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