Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
should my penis look like a turkey
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
