the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize