its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
