Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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