you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
