Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
