He disabled his match.com account in front of me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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