went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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