if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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