so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
