Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
high people should be assigned attendants
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
