I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
