Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
