Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
