i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
