I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize