why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize