With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
