Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
