My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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