I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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