Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
how does that bad decision feel?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
