So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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