i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
