you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
