He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Non-Jews are for practice
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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