Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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