Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My feet surprised me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
