You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
