All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
