If i come over, it means nothing
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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