woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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