Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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