also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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