Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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