wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
