I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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