ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
