Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
