.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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