whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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