smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
