Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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