I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
