i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
