Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He felt like a one man threesome
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't turn off my feet"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
