worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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