No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
