My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize