Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize