It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
