Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
