Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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