He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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