belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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