I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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