i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
