found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
