I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
