I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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